☾ ♡ emotional ♡ ☽ 24 [illinois] blm ⚢ she/they ⚢

a little something to get to know me better

my birthday is august 9th

my signs are leo ☼ pisces ☾ and virgo ↑

i love to write poetry but i don’t share most of it

i love music and have a specific song (sometimes multiple) dedicated to every person in my life who’s meant a great deal to me

i love my family (especially my parents) more than anyone else in the world

my two cats are everything to me and they’ve saved me more times than i can count

i have a tag on here for every person i’ve loved whether that’s platonically or romantically

if you think it’s about you then it probably is

i love driving - i often feel anxious if i’m not the one behind the wheel and maybe that’s a control thing

i have BPD and i struggle with learning & relearning how to manage my ever-changing emotions each day

i spent over a decade wanting to not be alive and only in the last year have i finally felt truly happy to be here

i am terrified of the future and i hate change with a a passion

yet i know it’s inevitable

i’ve lost so many people that i love

i want many tattoos but i can never seem to afford them or frankly feel prepared to handle the physical pain they require to endure

i don’t want kids but if the right person came along and it was a dealbreaker for them i would consider adopting one

i want to get married

i want a big wedding with all my family and closest friends even if it’s cliche and silly to some

i want to feel like i’m someone that some people couldn’t live without

i want to feel like a priority to the one i love most

i have a lot of needs and i’m scared that i’ll always be too much for anyone to handle

i love so hard

i’m terrified that i made too many mistakes in the past to ever feel like a truly good person again

i don’t believe in god but i hope for an afterlife

i want there to be a light after all the darkness i’ve had to crawl through

i miss my grandma every day and it’s been 17 years since i lost her

i like to hope that she would be proud of the person i’m becoming

i truly mean every ‘i love you’ i have ever said

i hope that i will be enough for someone and that they’ll choose to stick around for the long run

i will take pictures and videos often for the rest of my life because i get so happy when i look back at them

i love rollercoasters and bowling and concerts and feeling free and alive

and i never thought i would say that

i am doing better mentally than i ever have before

i hope that lasts

i miss people so much

i think about certain people every single day even if they don’t think about me

if i check up on you often, even just checking your profiles, it means i love you dearly

i am too hard on myself and don’t see my features as something to consider beautiful

i have the hardest time believing that someone could look at me and be infatuated with what they see

i’m trying to do better with that, though

i don’t know if many people will read this all the way through and i don’t mind if they don’t

i just wanted to express who i am for a minute

even if it’s just for myself

me 7.17.22 about me my words thanks for listening wlw